To Be or Not To Be a Nice Guy...
Date: Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:29:47 -0800
Subject: Love the site, but...
First off, I wanted to say that I really like the site, there were a
large number of eye-opening articles that totally rocked me, and I
have to say, learned a lot from. In fact, I could safely say that
you all are the types of women I love to date.
On the other hand, I think there is only one thing that makes me
slightly uncomfortable while skimming through your site: I feel like
a huge amount of the assertions that are made, while being logical
and reasonable, are not usually the norm for many women my age (mid
I can't even count the times where I read articles in the rant
section that made something so clear, so obvious, there there was
only one correct way to do something, and then think of 10
counterexamples from my personal history where the exact opposite
was the case.
Now I used to be one of the "Nice Guys" that you so eloquently
described in one of your articles
(http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml), and I was laughing out loud at how accurate it was.
But hey, I'm here to say that some of us figure out out with age and
experience, and I can safely say that I can look back upon my "nice
guy" days and see how truly naive I was.
Anyway, I digress, the point I'm trying to make is that in my
journeys starting from Nice Guy to Normal Guy, I have seen so many
inconsistencies in the way women act that it's no wonder so many of
us just give up and start acting like monkeys.
Now, I'm certainly not advocating that kind of behavior, I'm simply
stating that a lot of guys don't have their priorities arranged in a
way where trying to understand their significant other hangs out
near the top of their list. Those guys are douchebags.
I am not a douchebag, so maybe a lot of these articles aren't
geared towards myself.
I just think that the women of heartless-bitches are one step more
together than the average person, and don't fall for or put up with
that kind of shit.
That being said, I wouldn't think it would be a
stretch to see "heartless-assholes.com" and have it
filled with fully legitimate articles as well.
I can't even tell you how many times this has happened:
Me (to my girlfriend): So, do you wanna go out for dinner on Friday?
GF: mm, I dunno, do you wanna go out for dinner?
Me: Yeah, I think it would be fun.
Me (in my head): christ, of course I do, I asked the goddamned question, didn't I?
Me: So, I picked last time, did you have anything in mind?
GF: nope, you pick
Me: Cool, let's check out that new Chinese place.
GF: mm, I dunno, I'm not really in the mood for Chinese.
Me: alright, how about that Italian place down the street?
GF: mm, I dunno, I'm not really in the mood for Italian either.
Me: fair enough, what about (insert 3 more restaurants here)
GF: mm, I dunno, I'm not really in the mood for (insert 3 more restaurants here)
Me: So, what are you in the mood for?
GF: I dunno, anything, you pick.
Me (in my head): I am going to kill myself.
Me: What about that burrito place that we always go to?
GF: You know, I'm not really in the mood for burritos either.
GF: Actually... I'm totally in the mood for pizza, is that ok?
I mean seriously people, I'm not a goddamned mind reader.
haha, but seriously though,
my point is that this shit happens to me all the time,
this whole "I like it when the guy takes control,
despite the fact that I clearly have a preference and even a fair
opportunity to express as much, I just hope that he says the thing
that I prefer" thing is too much for me to wrap my brain around.
I am a simple creature.
On the other hand, I would be willing to bet
that the average heartless-bitches writer wouldn't go through this
So, I just ask that you ladies keep in mind that
there are some of us out there that are decent people, try to learn
and grow from our errors, and do appreciate all of the things you
have to say. I'm not asking for sympathy or anything like that, I'm
just saying that I believe in the credo: "Most people are fucking
stupid/crazy" as opposed to "A lot of men are fucking stupid/crazy".
Anyhow, keep up the good work, your site is always a good read!