Auntie Dote is HBI's answer to the usual, treacly, self-help advice columnists.

Disclaimer: This isn't an advice website. Yet from time to time we receive email asking for the Heartlessly Bitchy point of view. If you need serious medication, therapy or professional help, seek elsewhere. However, if you still insist on soliciting OUR advice, just remember...


All submissions become the property of HBI and by sending email to Auntie Dote you thereby give your permission for letters and responses (sans identifying information) to be published on the website. No emails will be answered individually.

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Ask Auntie Dote
The Auntie Dote for what ails you...

Aug 30, 2007

Dear Auntie Dote,


I have experienced emotional manipulation first hand, didn't know what it was until I read your eight ways to spot it. The only problem is, I didn't recognize it till I married her. Emotional manipulators are bad, either male of female. Yes, I am male and I read all of your articles, thanks for your honesty and insight. Now what do I do??


Thank you,




Dave, the thing about self-help that people seem to miss is the SELF part.You see, this is where you HELP YOURSELF.The first step on the path to victimhood is avoiding responsibility for solving your own problems. Bravo, you figured out something is wrong, but thetruth of the matter is that you got into the relationship, only you can decide what to do now that you are there, and whether or not to stay.†††I mean, we could steal a line from Dan Savage and say Dump The Mother Fucker Already, but would that really help?You married the woman, now you have to decide if itís worth working on the relationship or whether itís time to get the hell out.We certainly canít provide advice on that front based on 5 sentences from you. There are plenty of resources out there for you to locate that will help you to deal with abusers/manipulators ( is a good one). Grow a spine Dave and get therapy if you still canít figure out how to make decisions in your life.

Copyright© "Auntie Dote" & Heartless Bitches International ( 2000
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