January 13, 2002
Dear Fuckin' Natalie:
Let me tell all of you out there something - not all "Nice guys" are insecure clingers (some are, but don't lump me in with them. For a long time, I was not a nice guy, I would do all the things that girls would complain to their friends about and yet really drew them closer to me...
More recently, I have decided that I want a real relationship - not just a long-term relationship. Instead of playing games like not calling her when I should or blowing her off for my friends, I
decided to call her when I wanted to call her and go out with her whenever I wanted to go out
with her. Now granted, our first few dates, I made all the decisions about when and where (hint
to all guys - almost all girls want YOU to plan the first few dates).
We had a great time together and I would do things for her because I liked doing them and it made me feel good to do them, not for any other alternate motive. After some time, things weren't going so well, and we were fighting a lot. During a couple of these fights, she said directly to me some of the things that you complain that nice guys do - specifically she said that "I never asked you to do anything for me!"
Well, guess what ladies, there are some of us out here who do nice things for our girlfriends simply because we like doing them - they make us happy to do, and as a nice benefit, they usually make you happy to. I do nice things and favors for my friends all the time and none of them have ever used that against me.
Trust me, I can get other women, and I have been on several dates since my girlfriend and I decided to take a few steps backward. The difference is that I really cared about her, not that I was insecure and couldn't get anyone else.
Get off your high horses ladies. I am a nice guy because I want to find a
I do things for people that I care about because I like doing things for people I care about.
If you can't accept that and think that I have to do those things to win you over and keep you with me than I have a couple of other things to tell you: First, I know that you wouldn't be with me if you weren't interested, so I don't have to "win" you, I already did that.
Second, if any of you are lucky enough to meet someone like me that gives for the sake of giving,
don't accuse us of doing these things out of fear of rejection. It's very unbecoming and it tells me that you are in this relationship for all of the wrong reasons.
The reason that some "Nice Guys" get hurt is that we find women who act secure on the outside, but are really insecure as hell on the inside.
My advice to those "Nice Guys" like me is to keep looking, you don't want that girl anyway. And don't ever compromise who you are for anyone - that's why the divorce rate in this country is 60%.