October 3, 2002
I've been an HBI follower for a year or so & have gotten a great deal of insight (and entertainment) out of the website ... I hadn't felt a need to communicate until now.................
I was at a local music event recently and met a woman who, as we talked & she spoke of her grown children, parents, childhood, interests, etc. seemed interesting, intelligent, and sincere. Sparks were struck and after being lost in conversation together through the entire music performance, we walked to her car and she took my hand in hers and tenderly kissed it-a completely unique experience for me which went straight to my heart. I invited her for dinner a few days later at my home and "put on the dog" as best I could, preparing a gourmet meal and very carefully chosen music, which is my passion. The evening went quite well and after a protracted goodnight kiss before she left, I had that "at long last a woman has come into my life who could be worth considering seriously..." feeling.
The following day, I called her and as we talked, she gradually related a saga of recently trying to "help" a married male friend ( a local rogue amongst the women here) get back with his wife but ended up in an intense sexual relationship with him. She freely embellished the story with the details of his prowess with much relish, as if talking to a girlfriend - throughout the conversation, I perceived absolutely no emotion relating to regret nor did I sense any consideration on her part as to what I might think or feel about this.
Naturally, I was left feeling very cold, and after a short period of disappointment, I've come to feel pity for this woman-specifically for what seems to me to be her utter "unconsciousness", not only to the consequences of her selfish dalliance with regards to the other people in the family, but also towards me.
So, this brought me to the question I want to set forth for you and all the ladies of HBI: After deciding from now on to involve myself ONLY with "conscious" women, I am left wondering what (from the HBI perspective) a "conscious" woman is - what qualities she embodies over and above those of self-reliance, logical reasoning, and balance that I hear espoused on the pages of HBI.
In closing, I realize we find things out about each other sometimes sooner, sometimes later, and I'm certainly glad to have found out sooner this time; I want to get whatever knowledge I can out of this sad situation and I know you at HBI will tell me straight up what you think.
D. K. Jack