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Announcing the winner of our second annual ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY CONTEST!

(Posted: March 16, 2009)

Bad Dates. No, we're not talking about a salmonella outbreak at a mediterranean deli. But the kind of laughable, horrible, ridiculous and just plain loathsome experiences ALL of us have had on the dating front at one time or another. Going on any date is an experiment in chemistry, but some of them just make us want to run screaming from the lab!

In order to counteract the bloated romantic expectations that surround Valentine's Day (Feb. 14), we invited our readers to share THEIR tales of dating experiments gone bad.

Lilith's Slimey Dating Disaster took first prize!

Most of these are good yarns of dates gone bad, but each usually has just one or two qualities of a classic bad date that stick out and make it funny/horrifying (i.e. nose picker, religious freak, mama's boy, sexter/stalker, pushy marriage talk, etc.) All good in their way; bravo to all of our survivors!

We like Lilith's story because it is such an episodic, full-service bad date, from the initial cancellation to the danger-ridden escape in unfamiliar urban surroundings. From her description, the guy is memorably hideous to look at, to smell, to listen to (slimey), and to ride shotgun with. He seems to pander to her stated interests, sports and dance, then turns out to be cheap, shallow and disgusting guy who virtually dumps her while ON the date, and almost drives off with her purse.

Her desire to be bravely optimistic in the face of a minefield of red flags is both instructive, and funny in the way bad judgment always is. That sparkly top says it all! The night is filled with sympathetic female doppelgangers, from the bus driver to the 73-year-old widow. You have to cringe at the woman at the dance whom Eelman is trying to pick up, who doth protest too much. Yet another one on the hook, line and sinker. Lillith shouldn't feel too bad, Eelman seems to have a very, very well oiled spiel.

Honorable mentions go to Jennifer's Pirate Date, and Tim's Fatal Attraction Trauma.

Thanks to all who participated, your stories were all instructive and entertaining!

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International ( 2009, All Rights Reserved

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