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Heartless Bitches Influence

Date sent:Wed, 24 May 2000 01:49:00 -0700
From:Annie Price <annie@lainet.com>
Subject:Heartless Bitches influence

First and foremost, I'd like to thank you. I realize that your site is a voluntary service and you have loyally provided it for years. I have similar projects going on, and know despite its many rewards can sometimes be thankless.

That being said, I'd like to tell you about some of the influence your site has had with me. I am trying to remember exactly when I started reading your site; I must have been about 15 years old. I was between eating disorder hospitals, just having gotten home from a date with a guy ten years my senior who had backhanded me a few feet.

I lived in Mississippi most of my life. The concepts and realities you express in your writings were brand new to me. I was a complete product of my environment, rarely questioning the narrow minded, unrealistic views that were spoonfed to me about the woman's role and my own personal role in society. I certainly wasn't happy about what I thought the future had for me (marry young, have children, join PTA, drive large SUV, retire, die) but I was trying to make the best out of something I accepted as fact. Sure, I was failing miserably, but I was at least trying to have fun.

Your site introduced me to the concept that there is more out there for me. Additionally your site opened the door for me to figure out that I didn't have to be one of the victims, one of the weak, or one of the emotional children.

Your site encouraged me to seek out people like the heartless bitches in my area. I wanted a little guidance, and someone to help me be accountable for this new heartless bitch thing I was going to try. I still didn't trust myself completely to stick to it if put in an uncomfortable position, but I believed I was doing the right thing. It was a really long process. Prying open a mind as tightly sealed as mine was a challenge. I just started questioning everything. Why did I believe I would never make it as a career woman? Why did I want to meet Mr Right? Why was I judging and quietly criticizing everyone around me?

After much soul searching and adequate research, I came to some basic resolutions for who I was currently versus who I wanted to be. I read through your site when you updated for further general guidance. Taking that first step was huge, but I got through it. The rest came with practice and a little faith in myself.

I'm 20 now. I live in California. I moved here when I was 18 to come do tech support and start from scratch. I moved up quickly at my job to go work for the network engineering department. I took a job 3 months ago with another company, running the entire network operations department. I got promoted last week to go work for corporate, where they made me partial owner. I started dating again after my long "I don't know who I am yet, or what I'm looking for in a relationship, or -if- I'm looking for a relationship" hiatus. He treats me well, listens to me, and respects who I am. I still have a strong relationship with my parents. They are happy for my success, though they still don't understand why I didn't just marry wealthy. I tried to explain once where I was coming from, but only to blank stares. They respect me enough to not try to change me, and I certainly don't force my opinions on them. I gained 40 lbs over 2 years to a steady, healthy for my height, weight. I am happy. My goal in work, relationship, and personal life is to have fun -- and I do. I'm back in college, too.

I mess up sometimes. I still fall into some of the bad habits I spent so much energy dealing with. Sometimes I'll let someone categorize me or stereotype me. Sometimes I won't stick up for myself when I should. Sometimes I let people intimidate me. I know though, that I'm not about perfection. I'm about doing my best, and putting in the effort it takes to be able to do my best.

Apologies for the lengthy nature of this. I really just wanted to say thank you for opening the door for me to become who I am. Also thank you for your indirect encouragement (through articles, columns, etc.), and for providing a forum for strong women who take control of their lives to come share, exchange, and benefit from each others wisdom and life experiences. I applaud your efforts and offer any support I can give to you to keep it going.


Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2000
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