Active Columns:

Mar 21, 2010 - Deja Vu
Mar 28, 2010 - SeizurePalooza
Oct 18, 2009 - Born to Run
Oct 12, 2009 - Give it a Rest
Oct 2, 2009 - ...Bitch on a Budget
May 12, 2009 - The Brazilian
Feb 14, 2009 - My date with "Adam"
Feb 6, 2009 - Valentine's Day? BAH!
Feb 2, 2009 - Won't get Fooled...
Jan 14, 2009 - Here Kitty Kitty...
Jan 12, 2009 - On The Mend
Dec 12, 2008 - A Not-So-Merry Christmas
Dec 8, 2008 - Ivan's Move
Nov 30, 2008 - Quick Update
Nov 7, 2008 - And God Says...
Nov 6, 2008 - It's Not Looking Good...
Sep 24, 2008 - Shake Hands With The Devil
Sep 23, 2008 - It's Just Like Paris
Sep 17, 2008 - Memoirs of a Catholic...
Sep 16, 2008 - Suicidal Tendencies
Sep 15, 2008 - Fat is a Feminist Issue
Sep 14, 2008 - Get Me Out of Here
Sep 13, 2008 - Living with the 'rents
May 20, 2008 - I'm Not Dead Yet
May 19, 2008 - PSA
Apr 29, 2008 - Are You There God?
Apr 14, 2008 - Frightening the Neighbors
Mar 17, 2008 - The Border
Mar 10, 2008 - The Vibrator
Oct 8, 2007 - Ivan the Terrible
Sept 20, 2007 - Depression?
July 19, 2007 - An Update
July 3, 2007 - A Good Catch
March 26, 2007 - Crushed
March 19, 2007 - Adieu le feu
March 12, 2007 - Taking a Chance
Feb 26, 2007 - Biological Clock
Oct 16, 2006 - Determination...
July 15, 2006 - The Puppy
July 10, 2006 - The Gastroenterologist
July 8, 2006 - The Neurology Ward
Nov 21, 2005 - Who Would You Do?
Nov 14, 2005 - Shaved Pussies
Nov 7, 2005 - Avoidance
Sep 26, 2005 - love, kindness, missed chances
Aug 2, 2005 - Geoff the Entomologist
Aug 1, 2005 - Revenge
May 11, 2005 - Going for it
May 21, 2005 - The Green Thumb
Apr 22, 2005- Barry Again
Apr 21, 2005 - The Rectal Syringe
Apr 18, 2005 - Butterflies of Love
Apr 17, 2005 - No escape
Apr 10, 2005 - Meeting Colin Farrell
Oct 17, 2004 - Oops, I've done it again
Oct 21, 2004 - Lust
Oct 30, 2004 - Of Mice and Men
Nov 5, 2004 - What the FUCK...?
Oct 12, 2004 - The US Election
Oct 11, 2004 - MegaCleanse
Oct 5, 2004 - Life Sucks
Jul 8, 2004 - The Horoscope
Jun 15, 2004 - Seven Deadly Sins
Apr 24, 2004 - Going Out
Feb 24, 2004 - Tails
Jan 24, 2004 - The Decorator
Aug 25, 2003
July 18, 2003
July 17, 2003
July 16, 2003
May 19, 2003
May 18, 2003
May 17, 2003
May 16, 2003
May 1, 2003
Mar 10, 2003
Jan 25, 2003
Jan 24, 2003
Jan 23, 2003
Apr 30, 2002
Apr 30, 2003
May 29, 2002
May 12, 2002
May 18, 2001
January 10, 2001
December 11, '00
April 17, '00
The Goddess of battle, strife, and destruction explains it all for you

July 8, 2004

 I received a rather unique early birthday gift this year – a friend of mine had my horoscope cast.


I’m not sure how I feel about this sort of thing. On the one hand, my Catholicism means that I am hideously superstitious and of course, predisposes me to swallowing whoppers wholesale.  Let’s face it:  if I can fall for Vatican propaganda, chances are you can convince me of just about anything.   For example, when I first got married, my new husband told me that he could suck the bubbles out of pop and I believed him. He just seemed so sincere.  (And after that episode, I had to endure years of suggestions to “take the short bus”.  Thank God Jessica Simpson is around or I may never have lived it down.)


Given my gullibility, you’d think I’d have the psychic friends on my speed dial.  On the other hand, my former mother in law was really into this sort of thing and it still kind of creeps me out.


But I guess there’s only one way to find out how accurate it is.  Let’s have a look, shall we?


Sun in Leo, Moon in Sagittarius

You were born with the Sun in Leo and the Moon in Sagittarius. Both signs combine to make you a fiery, ardent, and very temperamental individual. Internally, you are proud; you have the potential to command and exert power.

Hmm…this doesn’t sound so bad….

You have a big heart and are generous, strong-willed, reliable, and very fixed in principles and opinions. You shine as a leader and have sufficient creativeness for business and private enterprises. You have an excess of vitality, which gives you vast ability in many activities. Leo's influence will incline you to do everything on a rather large scale. If you overstress these traits, you will appear as domineering and egotistical, always refusing to be content with second place.

Domineering and egotistical?  That seems a bit strong…

Your affections may become too patronizing, and your feeling of personal nobility may lead you to treat others as inferiors.

Well…sort of accurate, but I try to be kind to the serfs.

Moon Conjunct Jupiter   

This aspect is very easy to live with. You are probably well liked, because your optimistic attitude warms people up. You can even make others feel good when they are depressed. And when you are depressed, you don't spread it around. Even in your worst mood you can look at the situation with humor and laugh at yourself, which eases your depression and makes the people around you feel good.

You are quite a generous person who likes to help others and protect those who need it. But you aren't overly possessive either. You won't take advantage of anyone who is in trouble. You are tolerant of the ways in which others are different from yourself, in fact, you are pleased to find them because they help you learn more about the world.

Wow, this is accurate!  I always suspected that I was marvelous – seems the heavens are convinced of it too.  Maybe there is something in this after all…let’s keep reading.


Jupiter Square Midheaven   

You have a lot of energy, and you want to accomplish something in life, but you will have to learn how to balance your own interests with the interests of other people in your life. If you do that, you can have good relations with others and achieve what you want as well. Sometimes this aspect indicates a selfish attitude, a feeling that you are the only one who counts in this world. If you carry this too far, you will find that everyone you meet works against you because you seem so selfish and arrogant or just because you come on too strong.

Hmm…not liking this part too much…

Sometimes this aspect means you have conflicts with authority figures, because they feel that you are a threat to them.

Life imitates astrology after all…

While you are young, you should avoid getting a reputation as a smart-aleck, because such people do not get many breaks from others, especially those above them.

A “smart-aleck”?!?!  I’m so misunderstood.

You have a very strong belief in right and wrong, but you must learn to have more compassion for those who are on the wrong track. You are strongly tempted to preach to people who are in error, and you may do this at times.

Well really, I just can’t understand why everyone just can’t do things MY way.  Think of all the time we’d save.

Jupiter Trine Uranus   

You love freedom and you want to see everyone get a fair break. If you believe that someone is not getting a fair deal, you will work very hard to help them and fight for their rights. You are also a questioner, always wanting to know why a situation is as it is, especially concerning rules and laws. You are not one to break rules indiscriminately, but each one has to be justified to you. Custom and tradition are not adequate explanations. In fact, you feel that these ideas are barriers to progress put up by people who are afraid of the new, which you are not. All your life you will be eager to have new and fascinating experiences, see new places and encounter new ideas. Very often mere newness, whether of ideas or objects, is enough to sell you, which means you may get stuck with some pretty worthless items. You should make sure that something has proved itself before you decide you must have it.

God, why didn’t someone tell me this BEFORE I started dating??

You are tolerant and are willing to let everyone believe what they wish. Your own philosophy of life will become quite strongly developed while you are still young, but you will not try to shove it down anyone's throat. You like to be around people who are different from you, and in fact you are attracted by their differences. All your life you will be attracted to exciting people and situations because they make you feel more alive and interesting, although you aren't likely to be a dull person. In some people's eyes you may seem eccentric and strange.

Yes, but having them point this out in job interviews seems a bit unkind.

Mercury Trine Midheaven  

Very early in your life you will begin to think about what you want to do when you are older. To this end you will work to develop the talents that will help you get ahead. You will do the best you can in school, especially in those subjects that you think will be useful. While you are young, you will develop enough discipline to learn the skills you need.

Your parents will influence your opinions very strongly, and they will probably support you in whatever path you choose. Very likely you and your parents agree generally and have similar ideas on most subjects.

Uh…not so much.  If it weren’t for the physical resemblance, my mother would be convinced that the hospital foisted a changeling upon her.  My dad rolls his eyes a lot.  You get the idea.

You enjoy playing games with others, especially games that teach you something.

Especially if I win.

 You may also enjoy writing as a pastime.

I’d like it better if it paid the rent…

Neptune Trine Midheaven   

You are very idealistic in your attitudes toward the world, and you want to be as free as possible of values and possessions that limit you or prevent you from encountering the world. You may be less interested in material possessions than most people of your age, feeling that the burden of taking care of them is more trouble than it is worth. Besides, you value emotions, ideals and other immaterial concerns more than possessions.

Very early in life you show how unselfish and giving you are, especially to people in need. You like taking care of people or animals and trying to make them better. As you get older you will have a strong need to be of service to others, putting spiritual and moral ideals above personal gain. Even if you do not always succeed in living up to that ideal, it will be a very powerful force in your life.

This may explain my poverty.

Venus Square Mars   

This aspect indicates that your feelings are very intense, particularly in relationships. It is difficult for you to like someone only a little bit. Either you like a person completely, or you are indifferent or unfriendly to them. However, if you release your anger in an out- and-out fight, you quickly get over it and go back to really liking the other person.

And I always thought this was because of my short attention span and/or my forgiving nature.

Moon Trine Uranus   

You need a great deal of freedom, and you insist on your right to do things in your own way. It is very important to you to be emotionally independent of others and to be free to form friendships or other relationships with anyone who appeals to you. Probably you will be attracted most strongly to people who are quite unusual. You are not actively rebellious yourself, and others may even think you are quite conventional, but inside you are very much an individual.

I can say with certainty that nobody considers me conventional.

You will be attracted to anything that seems different or offers a chance for a new experience. But be careful not to get involved in a situation simply because it is different - it should be worthwhile as well.

Again, this would have been good to know years ago.

Even though you may move often in your life, you will soon feel at home wherever you are. But no one place will seem more like 'home' than any other. This is because you don't want to be tied down to anything.

Which proved to be a bit of a problem in my marriage…

This aspect gives you the ability to tolerate and respect offbeat people and unusual situations, even when you aren't personally attracted to them. You will work hard to achieve the sense that you are a unique person, so you are willing to respect other people's uniqueness. You are not likely to dislike someone because of what you hear about him; in fact, when you hear rumors about someone you tend to believe the opposite.

Yep, that’s me  -- patron saint of misfits.

Venus Trine Jupiter   

This is one of the easiest and most pleasant of all aspects. It indicates that you are a warm and friendly person who can love and show affection for others. You are fond of parties and good times, and you enjoy being comfortable and surrounded by beauty and elegance whenever possible.

I hate parties and avoid them like the plague.

However, this aspect is not limited to a love of comfort. You treat the people you like very well, and you are willing to share everything you have with them. You are very loyal to your friends and always try to treat them fairly. This trait will win you the respect and love of many people, and you will receive the good things of life in abundance.

As you get older, you will set very high standards of behavior for yourself in relationships. Honor and integrity are very important to you, and you always try to be honest with your loved ones. The spiritual side of love is as important to you as the physical and emotional aspects of love.

My God, I’m just amazing, aren’t I?  It’s a wonder the whole world isn’t madly in love with me.

Your chart has many other indications of creativity and this aspect may give you creative ability in one of the fine arts or literature. You may even make your living in some artistic field.

Well, first of all, I think we ought to define “make your living”.  Because the abundance thing isn’t really working out all that well yet…

Uranus in the Third House   

You have an unusually quick and original mind, and you enjoy dealing with new ideas and concepts, especially ones that others consider too extreme. You can size up a situation quicker than others, and you sometimes use this knowledge to play jokes and pranks on people.

I put that down to the fact that I lived in an Engineering fraternity house during my undergrad.  I was rented into it without my knowledge as a joke.  I wound up staying for two years.  Long story…

You may even enjoy amazing or shocking people with your words.

And you’re all amazed, right?  Right??

Uranus in Leo  

Those with this placement will find new ways to express themselves and make an impression on the world.

Note the deplorable absence of the word “good” in that sentence.

In many ways they may be rather eccentric, which makes it difficult for them to fit easily into groups because they are so individualistic.

Jeez, there’s that “eccentric” thing again.  I never imagined the stars would be so judgmental.

The horoscope went on for pages in this vein, and harped with insulting regularity about an alleged and overwhelming predisposition to obnoxious self regard.  The word “arrogant” was bandied about with offensive regularity and impertinent remarks were made about vanity and self-absorption.  A tendency towards laziness and a love for indolence were also highlighted.

A glance at the heading entitled “Born Under This Sign” revealed an alarming collection of megalomaniacs, dictators and grandiose lunatics. 

But perhaps I’m the exception to the rule.


Till next time,



Copyright© the Morrigan & Heartless Bitches International ( 2003
go to top

Pause your cursor over each link below for a more detailed description

Search HBI
   Collected Quotes
   The Manipulator Files
   Nice Guys? BLEAH
   Auntie Dote
   Honorary HBs
   Adult Books
   Kids Books
   Privacy Policy
   HBI Sitings


Want to link to HBI?

  Want to know when we update? Subscribe to our "What's New" RSS Feed

(What is an RSS Feed?)

Get SharpReader - our favorite RSS aggregator - it's free!

If you don't have a Newsreader, you can subscribe to updates via email:

Enter your Email

Powered by FeedBlitz

Add this Content to Your Site