Get a Babysitter!
(Nov 5, 2007)
by Karen Rodenbecker
To those of you out there who have decided that your young children are
indispensable accessories, on par with "it" bags, freakishly large
sunglasses, and i-pods, and therefore that these children should accompany
you each and every minute of the goddamn day, WAKE THE FUCK UP! Your
child is not this year's rat dog to be toted about for salespeople to coo
over and cuddle while you sip a latte and shop the day away. Toddlers
require almost constant supervision and structure in their lives. They need
down-time, nap-time, story-time, not to mention kid-food-time, and most of
this IS SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE OR UNAVAILABLE in adult-centered places, like
damn near every place you insist on dragging your screaming,
over-stimulated, flailing children.
Who am I to dispense such observations?
Am I a mother, a social worker, a child psychologist? No, Iım the woman who
has to listen to your child caterwaul at the symphony, who sees them
smearing their hands on clothes at the boutique, and who has even stopped
them from toddling into a restaurant kitchen when you were too busy lunching
with your friends to watch them.
Do you have any idea the number of times
your unsupervised toddlers have wandered up to me in parks, coffee shops,
and even in galleries looking for the attention and structure you are not
giving them? If I were a black market baby broker, I would be rich.
me make this clear: I do not fault your children for seeking attention and
stimulation; however, I DO FAULT YOU FOR HAVING THE UNMITIGATED GALL TO
ASSUME THAT STRANGERS WILL FIND YOUR CHILDREN AMUSING AND WILL KEEP AN EYE
ON THEM. Salesclerks, waiters, and those of us sans children ARE NOT YOUR
In the past I have tolerated your neglect and been kind
towards your "free-rage" toddlers because it is not their fault that their
mothers are vain, self-absorbed idiots. And yes, I can appreciate that
childcare is expensive, and yes, I understand that it is good for children
to engage with the larger world, and yes, I can even understand that
sometimes you really do need to do "something grown-up" or you will go
crazy. But here is what else I understand: THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKE ALL
THIS INTO ACCOUNT WHEN YOU DECIDED TO BREED.
Now, instead of being an
adult and putting your childrenıs needs first, not to mention showing some
respect for the rest of the world, you simply drag them everywhere you used
to go, yakking into your cell the whole way that "being a parent hasnıt
really changed anything" for you. I concur. I can imagine that you were probably just as self-absorbed and inconsiderate before you had children. Doubtless when you see me
leave the store, shop, or restaurant shortly after you and your
agents-of-chaos children arrive, you will think me a self-centered bitch,
which in this case simply means a woman who does not care to witness to your
rudeness and who is unwilling to be used as free daycare.
Oh, and by the
way, next time I'm letting your kids wander into the restaurant kitchen.