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What's Wrong with Nice Guys?

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The 4 Words of the Pariah


I don't like children. What that lonely little statement can do to people. I. Don't. Like. Children. Hackles go up, voices are raised, mouths start foaming and oh how the childish insults will fly. So what? If someone doesn't like children why does it bother you so much? Stop taking everything so personally. As for the people who constantly need to make disclaimers like "Now don't get me wrong, of course I just love children, I simply don't want any of my own". Knock it off, okay? You have every right to dislike children and you don't need to walk around soothing the egos and protecting the feelings of those who have children. If someone said they didn't like dogs would you expect the same song and dance from them? No, of course not. Then why are children the exception?

How can she not like children? I can hear the whispering now. What kind of inhuman monster is she? I'll tell you why I don't like children, because I find them to be loud and tedious. I don't like squealing, yelling, wailing or whining. Well gee, isn't that what children spend most of their time doing? I have nothing in common with children and therefore find any and all conversations with them to be boring. Children live in a very small world and are, for the most part, ignorant of what goes on around them. I don't like talking to ignorant people period. Why should make it make difference whether the ignorance is 5 or 25 years of age? I can hear it now, angry people rushing to their emails, "How dare she call children stupid?!, my child isn't stupid s/he is brilliant." I didn't call children stupid, I called them ignorant. Go to your dictionary or Merriam-Webster Online, look up both words and note the difference.

Somewhere along the way this society started worshipping children. Everything must be about the children. Every law passed must protect the children. Every restaurant, every movie theater, every bar, every museum, every art gallery, every area of our lives and cities must be child friendly. I have nothing against businesses aimed towards children, if a private business owner wants to cater to a certain demographic I won't stand in his or her way. In that same respect, there is nothing wrong with adult orientated businesses. Don't demonize places that aren't child friendly. Don't demand they change so you can take your children, and DO NOT under any circumstances bring your children in and expect the business to change their rules to accommodate you. Go to a place already established for children and leave those that don't alone. Or get a sitter and enjoy and adults only evening.

It's amazing to me how personal people take it when I state my opinion on children. I get called some interesting names, get accused of imaginary crimes and generally get treated like something that needs to be exterminated. This is from people who have children or want children, the ones that are supposedly teaching the next generation compassion and love. Yikes. I want to take the two most common responses and state my rebuttal here and now. So the next time you feel the need to fly off the handle at someone, remember this rant.

1) "You evil child hating monster. You better not hurt my children". This is how it is, to hurt your children I would actually have to get near your children. Simple logic: If someone does not like children, that person will do everything in their power to avoid children. Child abusers and pedophiles love children and will actively seek them out; these are the people that pose a threat. Not someone like me who doesn't like to talk children let alone touch them. But most importantly, stop taking things so personally. Yes not liking children extends to yours, big deal. I'm sure plenty of people out there love your children they don't need my validation, and neither do you.

2) "Oh but it's different when it's your own". Yes you're right; the difference is I would be stuck with a child I didn't like. Don't try to change my mind, don't try to "save" me, or convert me and for the love of humanity please spare me the "I used to feel that way until I had one and now being a mom is my whole world" speech. Saying that you know me better than I know myself is rude, condescending and completely uncalled for. Only control freaks walk around thinking they know what is best for everyone. Please, I am begging you; please do not drag your poor children over to meet me expecting their cute and perky ways to change me. I am sure your children are very special to you; they should be. But to me they are just children like any other children and as I clearly stated before, I am not interested.

So the next time someone says "I don't like children", simply nod, shrug and agree that children aren't for everyone. I am not asking you to talk to them I'm not even asking you to like them, I am simply asking that you accept a different opinion.

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