"I Love You Babe, Now Gimme Some Cash!"
by Terri Bishop
Okay, what really pisses me off is boyfriends (and I know there are women
too) who 'borrow' large sums of money from you and never pay you back. The
only reason we're usually stupid enough to lend them our root canal money
(and believe me, a root canal would be a lot less painful than trying to get
any cash back from these losers) is because we're 'in love'.
Why is it that
even intelligent women can fall into that 'blonde bimbo' mode around a guy
they think they love or who's shtuping them on a regular basis (which I
admit, can often pass for love if he's good enough)? These jerks always
appear financially solvent when you meet them. If they're short of cash,
how did they get that cool car anyway? A hint: If he's forgotten his credit
card the first time he takes you to dinner, I don't care how cute he is or
if he's driving a Lamborghini, run for the hills!! Unfortunately, most of
them are more subtle than that. Somehow though, despite initial
appearances, once they're yours these guys are always "a little short right
now" and you end up having to help out with their share of that trip to
Hawaii that you're taking so you can "plan your future together where
there's no pressure". Yea, right! Meantime, he's planning how get the
stewardess to the room without your knowing.
Even worse are those 'sweet' guys who hang around for months or even years,
slowly draining your resources. They are absolute dolls but somehow just
can't seem to get it together enough to find a real job or hang onto one
when they have it. Often as not they're 'artists' who move in with you and
manage to convince you that their art is more important to them than eating.
Uh huh. Tell that to your empty refrigerator. The reason these guys are so
dangerous is because they are usually so cute and endearing (read: leechlike)
that it's impossible to find a real excuse to get rid of them. Hence you
wake up one day to find your checking account empty and a pair of dirty
shorts hanging off the end of your bed.
In my younger, less bitchy days I had a live-in boyfriend take me for $5000
over the course of a couple of years. It went for car payments, dental
work, school, -- you name it. All the while he kept promising that he'd start
paying me back as soon as his job got more stable. Sure. One of these days
I swear I'm going to go and take his tires, molding and anything else
removable because after all, that damned car is at least 1/4 mine!