The "Nice Guys" archive

Comments - round 36
Comments - round 35
Comments - round 34
Comments - round 33
Comments - round 32
Comments - round 31
Comments - round 30
Comments - round 29
Comments - round 28
Comments - round 27
Comments - round 26
Comments - round 25
Comments - round 24
Comments - round 23
Comments - round 22
Comments - round 21
Comments - round 20
Comments - round 19
Comments - round 18
Comments - round 17
Comments - round 16
Comments - round 15
Comments - round 14
Comments - round 13
Comments - round 12
Comments - round 11
Comments - round 10
Comments - round 9
Comments - round 8
Comments - round 7
Comments - round 6
Comments - round 5
Comments - round 4
Comments - round 3
Comments - round 2
Comments - round 1.5
Comments - round 1
Nice Guys = BLEAH!
Nice Guys we can do without

And Still more comments from and about Nice Guys...

From: "David" <>
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2003


I just followed a link from a friend's journal to the "nice guys" article. I must say, I had a rather wonderful laugh at a lot of it. Although, other parts pointed out things I need to work on. I can't say I've found anything I disagree with so far. I was wondering, though, about the title that "you" have chosen for the site. I interpreted it as a satire of that which misogynists mislabel all women. I am, however, curious as to other interpretations.

Anyway, I am quite convinced that I will be returning to the site often - whether for personal developement, or to help me better understand the psychology of people (women, and men). And, yes... wow.

Now, I must apologize for anything I've said that might offend you. I mean, I don't exactly want to piss you off - you're heartless bitches, for crying out loud! ;-) Keep up the wonderful work... not that you wouldn't anyway.

Carpe lumen intus noctem
aka žabin

P.S. If I could have correspondance with a heartless bitch, whether AIM or email, I'd absolutely love the opportunity to discuss and/or debate (civilly, of course) ideas, in most any areas.

[Ah... but that would presume that we would have the time or inclination to want to chat to a recovering Nice Guy...]

From: "Ian Migala" <>
Subject: Have you seen THIS Nice Guy site?
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2003

I'm a recovered Nice Guy, and I love your site! It's poignant and oh-so-true. Thank you so much for putting it up!

Unless I've missed it on your site, have you seen this one? I couldn't read it all without wanting to yarp. Oh my GOD it's pathetic. It's endless "Women don't like Nice Guys and I wish they did!" No wonder, after reading that!

My own quick little comment...(most) women do appreciate nice guys, just not Nice Guys (capital N capital G); there's more to it than just plain being nice. A spine certainly helps. A sense of humor. A brain. Some standards. Just to name a few. I have to admit, in my past I've had a few women like me who were...nice. But nothing else about them really grabbed me. They were Nice Gals. Imagine how it struck me when I realized that I couldn't remember their NAMES. God bless them, but they were forgettable. Just like Nice Guys.

One other thing...this guy talks as though the distaff side of the gene pool owes him for being Nice. That's not nice; that's emotional blackmail. There's really a lot of darkness in the depths of the Nice Guy.

(I've suddenly started thinking of the film Misery. Connection?)

This has got me to thinking about a rebuttal site to his. We'll see...


From: David Gasten <>
Date: Sat, 12 Jul 2003
Subject: If nice guys finish last - I'm leaving early

Dear Supreme Bitch:

Wanted to let you know that I enjoyed your site. A friend of mine had it in her "Cool Links" in her Yahoo! profile. I especially enjoyed the "Nice Guys" section; it's all true! In the past, when I've heard guys talking about how women don't want nice guys, only jerks, I've often thought, "Well, I'm a nice guy ["kind" guy according to one of your articles] and I have no problem meeting and making friends with ladies, so what's your problem?" The "What Is Misogyny?" article is very well researched and really cuts to the heart of the issue; some of the links in that article were downright scary! Wonderful, wonderful cumulative exposÚ of what is REALLY going on in the minds of the so-called "nice guys"; I will recommend that link to next person I hear pull that line. Sock it to 'em!

One thing I might suggest is a slightly more clarified organization scheme, but I guess the other side of that is that you never know when little surprise might pop up! (e.g. the "PO'ed Prick" and the "Puffed-up Princess" pages--I was thinking about submitting an obnoxious one of each for laughs with a "nice site" note in the "comments" section.)

Also I'd love to know if you plan to publish this letter on your site; I may actually enjoy a little public embarassment!

[*sigh* So many submissives, so little time... (and inclination). At least he's not asking for us to walk all over him with spiked shoes... or help him with his castration fantasies...]

Can I go into the "psychward" file, please, please?

[Sorry, your letter was far too coherent for that.]

JUST KIDDING!; do whatever you want. Have a lovely day and again keep up the great work!

--David Gasten

From: "Spoon" <>
Subject: Glad I found your site.
Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2003

I'm a 21 year old male and I've been following your site for just over a year now, and I think it (and you people) kicks ass. Your site has helped me make myself into a better person, and a better partner. As a former borderline "nice guy", I'm so thrilled to have found your site, and I wanted to express my gratitude for all the time and effort that you have spent educating others on such important subjects, most of which are so difficult to teach. I've had a couple of female friends who were stuck in emotionally abusive relationships. Your site was instrumental in educating and empowering them to take action and better their lives. I wish that every guy and girl would read your site, and I especially wish that more people would "get it" once they had. So keep up the great work, you truly do make a difference in a lot of people's lives.

Ryan Witherspoon

[ You too, can be SAVED, if you learn to walk the path of HEARTLESSNESS... ]

From: "Al DV" <>
Subject: My two cents
Date: Thu, 03 Jul 2003

Hi ranters and others.

I've been in the hole for the past year and a half because of a really bad encouter with a woman. I got hurt and humiliated beyond what my ego can accept and I'm trying to deal with it the best I can.

[Shit happens. Sometimes it happens to you. Sometimes it's beyond our control, and sometimes we bring it on ourselves.]

I am a nice guy!

[ Uh huh. That's what they ALL say...]

I am in late twenties and had very little exposure to women and haven't really been that intimate.

[ Sounds like you are confusing NAIVE with NICE.]

I was clueless as to what to do when I fell in love with this woman. Never the less she abused me and took me down to the bottom. I said nothing. So it's my fault. OK.

[ You might make huge leaps if you can differentiate between FAULT and RESPONSIBILITY.]

Now, I'm not a nice guy, per se, like what you call wimps, wussies and so forth.

[ Wait a second - you say in one sentence that she ABUSED you, and then in the next that you are not a wimp or a wuss... Nobody can make you feel inferior, OR abuse you, without your consent.]

Your article "Nice guys we can do without" really did insult my intelligence so I decided to give you my two cents worth.

[ thus far it appears to be worth less than that...]

I have been described a "cool" guy and since I can remember and I was in the "in" crowd since I can remember, too. As a matter of fact my few buddies and I ran the "in" club. We owned it.

[(In your mind, perhaps). Big fucking whoop. ]

I am nice in a way that I will put out my hand first for a hand shake.
I will let a driver through even though I should probably be the one going through.
I will offer my help to anyone if I have the ability and/or the expertise to help.

I seem to have a tendency to defend the weak and I used bully the bullies in school.
So nobody really messed with us when we were kids.
Today, as an adult, I seem to have the ability to get instant respect.

[Except from women...?]

When I talk, people listen and remember.
I lead and people react to me.
I fear only myself.

[Methinks he doth protesteth too much... Reminds me of a comment from Sue in Hollywood/Bollywood "Your need to be cool practically screams, and that's not cool."]

When I see people mollesting, abusing and terrorising others, especially somebody that can't defend themself, I tend to rub their face in their ass. If you know what I mean.

[Ah... a "Rescuer"... CLASSIC "Nice Guy" archetype. Unfortunately just as controlling and manipulative (in his own way) as the assholes he "rescues" people from.]

I take immense pleasure in humilliating such people.

[Doesn't sound very "Nice" to me...]

I really enjoyed bragging for a moment.

[Did you convince yourself? Because it didn't do squat to convince ME...]

Dealing with women is a skill that we learn and obtain like any other skill.
I have been blessed with many other talents and obtained many skills but not this one.


I've read and found that I made a lot of mistakes with this woman simply because of my inexperience.

[And arrogance? And self-righteousness?]

I never really thought I should be learning about this. I thought it something we all have naturally.
And I do have a lot of it but some crucial things have escaped me for a long time.

[You haven't really told us what mistakes you made. I wonder if you are actually capable of genuine acknowledgement in that arena. If not, your learning process will be a LOOOOOONG one.]

Now you seem to have this skill.

[Which skill would that be? Dealing with women? ]

It would be fun to see what other skills you are worthy at.

[It would be fun to see you construct a sentence that makes sense.]

I find people that insult others have very few skills.

[Yet you yourself said that you "take immense pleasure in humilliating (sp)" people who YOU deem are trodding on others.]

My advice to you is this.

[did anyone else see ANY place on the site where we ask for ADVICE? And this guy wonders WHY he's a loser with women...!]

When you see a guy who is really trying to find a woman to be with and he is miserably failing, help him.

[What do you think this whole section is about? Just because it isn't sugar-coated with platitudes doesn't mean it isn't valuable information. You just have to be willing to see your own failings and how it applies to you. Hundreds of others have.]

Offer him advice and guidance.

[and platitudes? We're not your MOTHERS for chrissakes. Grow UP. Grow a SPINE. ]

Don't sit behind a screen and a keyboard and insult and spit on others who can't defend themselves.

[Oh the tragedy of it all! ]

This is what wimps do.

[Wimps write to HBI complaining about how mean and unkind we are.]

They attack the weak.

[Get a grip. Nobody is being victimized here. The "weak" blame others for their weaknesses instead of taking responsibility for their own asses. It's not our job to wipe their butts or dry their tears.]

Al Del Vecchio

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