The "Nice Guys" archive

Comments - round 36
Comments - round 35
Comments - round 34
Comments - round 33
Comments - round 32
Comments - round 31
Comments - round 30
Comments - round 29
Comments - round 28
Comments - round 27
Comments - round 26
Comments - round 25
Comments - round 24
Comments - round 23
Comments - round 22
Comments - round 21
Comments - round 20
Comments - round 19
Comments - round 18
Comments - round 17
Comments - round 16
Comments - round 15
Comments - round 14
Comments - round 13
Comments - round 12
Comments - round 11
Comments - round 10
Comments - round 9
Comments - round 8
Comments - round 7
Comments - round 6
Comments - round 5
Comments - round 4
Comments - round 3
Comments - round 2
Comments - round 1.5
Comments - round 1
Nice Guys = BLEAH!
Nice Guys we can do without

The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...

Date: Wed, 6 Apr 2005 17:44:59 +0100
From: Alexander Jakeman <>

Subject: Website Comments..


Just thought I'd drop a quick compliment over your website. I only stumbled across it the other day (and into the 'Nice Guys' section) because of some coursework I'm doing on 'mating' practices (all stats, no fun sadly)

I think your stance on that issue (I'ven not been through the whole site yet) is more or less bang on. I used to carry a lot of the traits myself, before I finally came to the same conclusions as you and sorted it all out. It's really cathartic reading through it all and cringing at a good number of the points

But apparently catharsis is good for the soul

So all in all, fantastic

Best website I've seen in Yonks

- Alex

From: "Andrew Whitley" <>
Subject: Heartless Bitches International
Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 23:18:45 +0400

Good evening (it's 11:18 pm in Iraq),

Your site was both an entertaining and informative read. You have a lot of good information on abuse which I commend you for. I wish I believed your quest to explain why "nice guys" finish "last" would even make a dent, but, as a guy, I think it's a lost cause. Blaming someone else rather than fixing yourself - being happy, having your own friends, hobbies, and life - is the easier route. The boys who choose that route seldom put themselves in the fire and get stronger - they whine about the burn

And I'm not being entirely fair - I was truly impressed with the depth of information you had on your site about emotional abuse - I hope a few people read it and decide to get out of an abusive relationship, or in the case of an abuser - change ... for their own good

Best of luck,

Andrew Whitley

From: "Kent Ardle" <>
Subject: "NICE GUYS"
Date: Sat, 9 Apr 2005 13:00:57 -0700

Hello, I just came across your site and read the article on nice guys. I am a 43 year old single man and I agree with your assesment of nice guys.

I myself was a self professed "nice guy" until I got a clue and got over myself. Confidense is sexy to a woman and a man has to like himself before he can like others

Just thought I would put my two-cents worth


Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2005 10:16:30 -0400
From: "Lyon, Thomas G" <> Subject: recovering nice guy

Great site. This like a halfway house for nice guys

From: "Louise Cloutier" <>
Subject: COMMENTS Excuse My English
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:40:53 -0400

You're saying a woman can't think for herself and perceive that the guy is a jerk on her own

[Ah. No. I never said that. YOU just did, however. HBI encourages ALL women to stand up for themselves, take care of themselves, and be responsible for their own actions and behavior. That is why we encourage them to SEE and notice behaviors that may lead to the guy being manipulative, controlling and abusive.]

Why does women deserves to be encouraged and not men?

[Read the site. We whack stupid women and men equally.]

And i think you forgot some women are very controlling too, they don't use their muscles, they are using 'Psychological Violence'

[And if you get attracted to those types of women, you have to figure out what YOUR damage is that draws you to them.]

What about 'Nice Girls' who have great ass. Who control most of men (not me) just because they have an insecure or weak personality?

[Well first of all, I'd say they aren't so "nice".... And from the sounds of it you believe that hot looking women can control MOST men because they (most men) are insecure or weak? Sounds to me like too many of your friends are getting lead around by their dicks.]

You know i agree your point about 'Nice Guys'. But why don't you talk a little bit more about 'Nice Girls' who are the same % of population than the 'Nice Guys'. You want equality, are you equal?

[This section of the site exists because the NICE GUYS are the biggest whiners. I get almost NO email from women professing to be "nice girls" complaining that all men want asshole women, and how they can't get laid...]

I Hope. And for myself I try the best I can even if i am not perfect.

Even kind guys who cares about what people need are sometimes acting like 'Nice-Guys'. They don't do it cause they are 'INSECURE,WEAK,CONTROLLING' just because they think that is what girls want, they want to please them. Even if it's not working, i think the motivation is to considerate. It is a sign good will. This just can't be bad. Our errors lead us to the path of the truth.

[I think you are full of shit rationalizations. You just said above that it was about NICE ASS, not trying to "please" someone. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." In the same way, no one can control you without your consent. I think it is more likely that they think they are going to get laid if they capitulate - that's the whole thing, it's not REALLY about being "nice", it's about having an agenda...]

I know what you mean by 'Nice Guys' I knew some and hated them as much as you do. But I also met boys who are very inteligent.

[And they don't whine and complain about how nobody wants "Nice Guys"...]

I liked the site, even if I does not agree with all your opinions, I think you and I are on the good way to understand what's really happenning in this world. Please Excuse my english once again.

Friendly, René, 18 years old Québec Canada

Date: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 13:01:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David \"Nice\"" <>
Subject: Former Nice Guy (tm)

Hello bitches,

I just finished reading that article about "Nice Guys" and I just had to write to say THANK YOU! I've been looking for the answer for some time now and thanks to you I've found it. Today I quit my job as CEO of Nice Guys Inc.

Maybe you're not use to this but yes, believe it, this is a former Nice Guy writing a thank you note for your help. And may I add, you guys were great with the description, you didn't leave anything out, I was a "nice guy" in every single way you described. You did me a great favor now I like myself and at the same time you did a great favor to whatever lucky woman finds me in her future, 'cause I'm not Mr. Nice Guy anymore. I'm.... Yeah I gotta change my name, David is such a nice guy name! GaG!

Again... Thank you and god bless you, or not

P.S: Should I write a letter of apology to my ex for ever meeting me when I was a Nice Guy? Or is that a Nice Guy thing to do... J/K I know it is.

Date: Wed, 4 May 2005 03:57 -0400
Subject: Male Flame form : Derrick
Name: Derrick

COMMENTS: Hello, women of HBI. I have recently visited the "Nice Guys" section of your site, and I find it to be somewhat of a misrepresentation. On the one hand, identifying the label "nice guy" as a title that's shown, not self-imposed, is understandable; being a "nice guy" should reveal itself through one's conduct. However, the way that the material on this site portrays the average nice guy would both make it seem as if those who are truly kind are simply being underhanded and therefore don't deserve to "get the girl," and those who are in fact using "niceness" as a facade to get girls are somehow more reprehensible than those females who manipulate men and are cheered on for it. Conversely, those who have no regard for the feelings of women, and no respect for women, that is to say, "jerks," are seen as real men and truly genuine, because men apparently only act like sub-human neanderthals, thus any man who does not act this way is automatically trying to get into bed with a woman. Or he's gay

Allow me to elaborate. A person who is confident, directed, respectful and considerate toward women, and fairly attractive could be considered a good potential boyfriend, except he's not as interesting as someone who's on the wrong side of the law or enjoys causing pain and suffering, like, say, a jerk. As much as the nice guy has going for him, he doesn't have enough novelty for a girl to be attracted to him, and thus a girl will choose the jerk. And then, two months later, she'll come to the guy who actually cares about her well-being and tell him how she regrets having made that decision. As a person who's been in this situation, I can say that it's frustrating to hear that she's having problems like this, especially if one has offered her the chance for a healthy relationship and she turned it down

Unfortunately, no matter how many jerks the girl runs into, the nice guy will never be attractive to her, simply because...why? Given that he's directed, he has his own focus, and therefore doesn't define his life in terms of hers, since he's making sure his life is what he wants it to be. He's not a worrying loser who wouldn't have the confidence to ask her out, and he's not a self-righteous bigot who would laugh in her face at her problems that arose directly from her choosing jerks over him. He remains her friend despite the fact that she may have hurt him. Now I'm not saying that she should return the favor by getting with him, but why go for all the jerks? What's so much more attractive about them? What can the nice guy change about himself that makes him more attractive to women? He's got looks, respect, money, direction and confidence; what should he improve? By what I've read here, it seems your answer would be that he's either lying about one or many of those things, or there's something else wrong with him. However, by experience, it doesn't seem as if this is the case. Clarification on your stance would be appreciated

Why is it that women don't seem to want a healthy relationship? Bad guys give them something to fix; jerks give them something to heal. It seems as if the only way anyone can be successful with any girl is by tripping blind people at intersections, pushing old ladies off cliffs, or shooting koala bears in the face. Otherwise, they're too "nice" and therefore aren't worth anyone's time

And then if you do somehow make it past all the testing, you virtually get no green light to go ahead. Unless the girl really wants to jump your bones, she makes no show of attraction, and since the nicer guys tend to respect a girl's feelings and don't want to go further than they are allowed, they end up with nothing. It's no longer just a fear of rejection; it's a fear of being arrested. However, women continue to believe that the half-hearted, intentionally deceptive "signals" they give are good enough, since any guy who likes them enough will ask them out regardless of possible consequences. However, even though guys are required to do this, it never seems to cross a girl's mind to show similar respect and maybe throw him a bone or two

It simply seems as if a nice guy will never be attractive to a woman. Any woman. And it seems as if it's all because he's nice. Respect used to be valuable, but it seems so cheap now, thanks to these types of actions. Perhaps, given the fact that you probably wouldn't have much reason to be dishonest, I will find some answers from you

Date: Sat, 7 May 2005 06:52 -0400
Subject: Male Flame form : Andy

COMMENTS: I'll keep this short yet sweet

Don't get me wrong, I respect all women. Don't care where they come from, who they are or what they do. Yet still believing that real women are those who are submissive.

[Oh. Charming.]

Because lets face it, women are not naturally that way

[Naturally WHAT way?]

That is why self-control for all is important. Men have the same problem of self-control with sexuallity, that is how they turn out to be pigs. And in the same way women can turn out as "Heartless Bitches" if no self-control is there

[So, in your delusional little universe, "self control" equals "submissive"? Wow. What a prize YOU are. Thank god we Heartless Bitches turn off your type.]

For you to promote no self-control isn't right.

[Odd, I thought our slogan read "Because we know that BITCH means Being In Total Control, Honey!". Sounds like promotion of self-control to me....]

And as much as you like to deny your conscience, you know it

[I know that guys like you are deluded losers. I don't need to go to my conscience for that one.]

I hope some day, some guy will sweep you off your feet. Yet that is very unlikely, because of the environment born into and live in

[I hope some day that you will learn to see women as people and not objects. But I don't hold out much hope for that, because of the narrow cavity your mind lives in.]

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