The "Nice Guys" archive

Comments - round 36
Comments - round 35
Comments - round 34
Comments - round 33
Comments - round 32
Comments - round 31
Comments - round 30
Comments - round 29
Comments - round 28
Comments - round 27
Comments - round 26
Comments - round 25
Comments - round 24
Comments - round 23
Comments - round 22
Comments - round 21
Comments - round 20
Comments - round 19
Comments - round 18
Comments - round 17
Comments - round 16
Comments - round 15
Comments - round 14
Comments - round 13
Comments - round 12
Comments - round 11
Comments - round 10
Comments - round 9
Comments - round 8
Comments - round 7
Comments - round 6
Comments - round 5
Comments - round 4
Comments - round 3
Comments - round 2
Comments - round 1.5
Comments - round 1
Nice Guys = BLEAH!
Nice Guys we can do without

The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...

Date: Thu, 2 Feb 2006
From: Matthijs Dröge
Subject: COMMENTS: from a male disgusted with "nice guys" and their doormats
Hail and hello,

First of all, my compliments to the great people of HBI. You're doing a great job. I was particularly impressed with the 'Spineless Man' story, which read like my biography. That was truly amazing. Although I must say that the comments generated by the 'Nice Guys' page are pretty depressing. It is especially funny how many of them are offended by the page being aimed at 'nice guys', because they never bother with reading(or acknowledging!) the rest, and thus don't understand your definition of 'nice guys'.

I suppose you could change your page about 'nice guys' to a page about 'chauvinist assholes who treat women like objects of their religious worship, and actually believe that they are being nice and feminist by doing so', but that would be too long, and those assholes would not relate to it because they only see themselves as 'nice guys', and will thus never read it. How come so many guys still can't get their acts together? And why are we seeing so many girls trying to reinforce the flawed thinking of these 'nice guys'?

It's truly a society thing, that seems to spin around into a circular motion: first there is the guy, who sees Hollywood movies in which the 'sweet, sensible' type always somehow beats the 'jerk' to the girls

But that's not the only thing! There's also the doormats, the 'victim chicks' who love these chumps putting them on a pedestal. They too watch Hollywood films and soap operas, in which love and sex are regarded in a much different way. Perhaps they've heard Robbie Williams whining about how he just wants to 'feeeeeelllllll reeeaaalll looooooveeee' and think he is actually sending a profound message, when in fact he can screw whatever he wants.

But anyway, the problem with these girls is that they are the ones who keep buying those shitty love songs, and who keep coming onto more enlightened places(say, your forums) to spread the message that they just LOVE nice guys (of course, also ignoring your definition of it). By the time they realise that they are mistaken (because their cunts have been dry since they started adopting these 'morals' at 14 years old),

[Ok, you almost had me up until that point... but the misogyny is leaking out of your ASS.]

the 'nice guys' they once convinced to continue their wrong ways are nowhere to be found and apologised to. And of course these guys will eventually get the stick up their ass, to which new spineless women will cling.

The circle isn't entirely closed though, there's always a small hole in it that some people are lucky to escape through(I consider myself to be very privileged with my internet connection and my being good at foreign languages, seeing as English isn't my native language(I'm Dutch) and I'm only sixteen, while men in their forties still struggle with some of the basic 'theory' presented on your site). Now, the point is to widen that hole, break through the endless cycle of 'feminists'

[You do realize, of course, that Heartless Bitches International is a FEMINIST website?]

These 'feminists', both male and female, usually just try to create a gap between men and women.

[The goal of "feminism" is EQUALITY. It is to shrink, not create or widen a gender gap.]

Guys who give clueless girls 'a break' because girls are 'just weird like that' and girls who pretend that anyone other than their supplicating 'nice guy' is just a 'jerk'

Thankfully, your site is really contributing to widening the hole in what would otherwise be a vicious cycle.

[This makes no sense at all. I don't think this guy has a clue what feminism, or HBI for that matter, is all about...]

This has gotten rather longer than I'd intended it to be. Do what you want with this blurb of text, no matter if you're going to scroll through it quickly and then bin it, or something more prestigious

Either way, it feels good to get this out of my system. Keep up the good work!


Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006
From: Mike Donohoe
Subject: RANT

Hi. I admit that I was once a "nice guy." In fact, basically, I still am, at least to my son and to animals, (such as my cat and my rabbit. Awww. Isn't that sweet?)

As for arrogant, self-absorbed manipulative pricktease bitches, I say fuck 'em, and fuck 'em high. Sincerely, No More Mr. Nice Guy. (Except to bunnies and my son and stuff.)

[hmmm... despite his protests to the contrary, he really hasn't "got it"...]

Subject: Comments: Nice Guys section
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006

Before I read the articles in the nice guys section, I didn’t realize just how messed up I was. I have described myself as a "nice guy" for a long time, wondering why I couldn't get in a long term relationship with a woman and all the other things that people like me tend to whine about.

It was, honestly, uncomfortable to read the pages, because so much of what was in there fit me to a T. However, it was something I needed to see. The friends and relatives of an alcoholic or drug addict have an intervention to tell the addict that he or she has a problem and how they feel about it. Tonight, I had my "nice guy intervention", if you will, by reading through the nice guy stuff.

[The horse came to the water of his own accord.]

I'm going to work to change my self-limiting and self-sabotaging behaviors, and I'll be checking back to your site as needed to review and learn new things as more articles are posted.

As strange and counter-intuitive as it sounds, thank you for being heartless. Or should I say "You have a heartless of gold", lol.

Keith (former nice guy)

Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006
From: Daniel Chateau
Subject: Comment: Nice Guys, The Mold Needs to be Broken Alright

Dear HBI, I just recently came across your website and read your article on Nice Guys( and why they are such losers. As I was reading through it, it really struck a chord with me. I think in some instances those characteristics of the nice guy apply heavily to me. For the most part, that article was a bit of an eye-opener for me. While I've become rather abrasive over the years, I still find myself doing some of the said actions that are commonly seen with a "nice guy". You are right, the partner shouldn't be trying to worship them, putting them up on a pedestal. They should be equals in all regards, no matter what society wishes for us to portray. Equal means, equal on everything. From someone who has been slowly growing out of the "nice guy" mold, I appreciate you putting up said article. It's good to see that there are others out there who can freely speak their minds without resorting to sounding like a blathering idiot

Daniel J. Chateau

Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006
From: "John J"

Go ahead! Put this on your site! I don't care! I feel so liberated right now that the building could collapse around me right now and my attitude wouldn't change a single bit.

My only request is to please not use my full name or e-mail address if you choose to post this on your site. I'd like to keep this anonymous.

In any case, I just wanted to thank you guys for your awesome site and finally getting it through my thick skull every single goddamn thing I was doing wrong. For a while I'd been struggling with my own identity and how to... how to *be* I guess, for lack of a better word. But God damn do I ever get it now.

Not sure what kind of a difference it would make to you, but you've saved one of us from falling into that god-forsaken "nice guy" trap.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- John

From: "White Goddess"
Subject: Is my son a nice guy?
Date: Sun, 12 Mar 2006

Hi I wasn't sure were to post on site or if I should. I had a question about where to find advice for my 16 year old son.

[I can't begin to tell you how disturbing I find this. If your son has a problem with relationships, why are YOU asking for advice (or should I say "interfering"?) on his behalf?]

He is an honor student, attractive, athletic and sensitive but is having trouble with girls. THEY ask him out then dump after a few weeks for being "boring". I personally think these girls are boring and need some activities and self entertainment capabilities.

[Too bad. You aren't the one dating them, so it's really none of your business.]

He dated a not too bright sweet pretty girl for 18 months and she broke up with him for being "boring" then proceeded to beg him back for months. Now he is back with her (at my pushing , I don't usually interfere

[Heh. I DOUBT that...]

but I REALLY hated the girl he had been seeing) and she is actually "bored" with him after only a couple weeks. Is it the over dramatized movies these girls are watching that make them think that love is all bells and whistles and if not something is wrong ( that stupid notebook movie comes to mind)? My son may be tired from working hard all day but I guess he still wants to make her happy this time around. EXACTLY what are they wanting him to do?

[Get out from under the watchful, controlling gaze of "Mommy" perhaps?]

cartwheels? Financially right now we cant afford lavish gifts for her,

["we"? Just who is dating this girl Mommy Dearest?]

but I make beaded semiprecious jewelry and the girls seem to like those, should I help her find a hobby like such?

[Why don't YOU stick to your hobby and let your son figure this stuff out on his own? It's called "growing up", and he can't do it if YOU keep interfering in his personal life.]

This particular girl loves coming over to our home as her family isn't close and her mom isn't around, she LOVES my homecooking and sometimes comes over just to eat. I cant teach my son romance

[It's not your place to teach him romance. You teach him morals, ethics and how to be a decent human being. You teach him to how to be independent and learn on his own, and then you LET GO and cut the apron strings.]

and he doesn't see it at home as I was always one of the guys and never got along with girly girls as a teen so I don't know what they want ( I wanted beer and found it on my own, the girls he likes aren't like that). My hubby and I are soulmates that coexist knowing what makes each other happy, so I have no idea what kind of advice to give him on working to make a romantic girl feel happy. Personally I think they should responsible for their own happiness and entertainment, but how do I tell them that?

[Um, just like that?]

Is there a book?

[Yes, It's called "Mother's Sons and Lovers - How a Man's Relationship With his Mother Affects the Rest of his Life" - YOU should read it.]

My son sees his time with her as "down time", relaxing time, but I think she wants to do stuff, but cant tell him WHAT she wants to do.

[Nor should you. Butt out.]

I guess she is waiting for him to suggest something but his idea of doing something is playing video games, and needless to say she sees that as boring

[Maybe he is too young and immature to be dating and trying to form serious relationships? In any case, you shouldn't be doing his worrying for him.]

OK, how many moms write?

[About their son's dating problems? You are the first one.]

Is he a momma's boy? He would says yes proudly

[Sad. Really Sad. Because in the end, it's going to haunt him. A "momma's boy" isn't independent, or self-sufficient or resourceful. He's DEPENDENT. And ultimately, he'll be miserable when it comes to relationships. If you REALLY love your kid, you'll back off and stop interfering and let the kid grow up, make mistakes, and get a spine.]

M in Michigan

Date: Fri, 24 Mar 2006
From: RDC
Subject: Nice Guy Essay

Hello there!

Though I'm not very active, simply AGES ago I became a Heartless Bitch. Still love the site. Anyway, since I know you have the regular Nice Guys BLEAH! section still going, I though I'd point you to this great essay someone put up on her LiveJournal (it's not ME, I promise). Thought you might find some use for it:

Keep up the good work!


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