The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...
Date: Thu, 2 Feb 2006
From: Matthijs Dröge
Subject: COMMENTS: from a male disgusted with "nice guys" and their doormats
Hail and hello,
First of all, my compliments to the great people of HBI. You're doing a
great job. I was particularly impressed with the 'Spineless Man' story,
which read like my biography. That was truly amazing. Although I must
say that the comments generated by the 'Nice Guys' page are pretty
depressing. It is especially funny how many of them are offended by the
page being aimed at 'nice guys', because they never bother with
reading(or acknowledging!) the rest, and thus don't understand your
definition of 'nice guys'.
I suppose you could change your page about 'nice guys' to a page about
'chauvinist assholes who treat women like objects of their religious
worship, and actually believe that they are being nice and feminist by
doing so', but that would be too long, and those assholes would not
relate to it because they only see themselves as 'nice guys', and will
thus never read it. How come so many guys still can't get their acts
together? And why are we seeing so many girls trying to reinforce the
flawed thinking of these 'nice guys'?
It's truly a society thing, that seems to spin around into a circular
motion: first there is the guy, who sees Hollywood movies in which the
'sweet, sensible' type always somehow beats the 'jerk' to the girls
But that's not the only thing! There's also the doormats, the 'victim
chicks' who love these chumps putting them on a pedestal. They too
watch Hollywood films and soap operas, in which love and sex are
regarded in a much different way. Perhaps they've heard Robbie Williams
whining about how he just wants to 'feeeeeelllllll reeeaaalll
looooooveeee' and think he is actually sending a profound message, when
in fact he can screw whatever he wants.
the 'nice guys' they once convinced to continue their wrong ways are
nowhere to be found and apologised to. And of course these guys will
eventually get the stick up their ass, to which new spineless women
But anyway, the problem with these girls is that they are the ones who
keep buying those shitty love songs, and who keep coming onto more
enlightened places(say, your forums) to spread the message that they
just LOVE nice guys (of course, also ignoring your definition of it). By
the time they realise that they are mistaken (because their cunts have
been dry since they started adopting these 'morals' at 14 years old),
The circle isn't entirely closed though, there's always a small hole in
it that some people are lucky to escape through(I consider myself to be
very privileged with my internet connection and my being good at
foreign languages, seeing as English isn't my native language(I'm
Dutch) and I'm only sixteen, while men in their forties still struggle
with some of the basic 'theory' presented on your site). Now, the point
is to widen that hole, break through the endless cycle of 'feminists'
These 'feminists', both male and female, usually just try to create a
gap between men and women.
Guys who give clueless girls 'a break'
because girls are 'just weird like that' and girls who pretend that
anyone other than their supplicating 'nice guy' is just a 'jerk'
Thankfully, your site is really contributing to widening the hole in
what would otherwise be a vicious cycle.
This has gotten rather longer than I'd intended it to be. Do what you
want with this blurb of text, no matter if you're going to scroll
through it quickly and then bin it, or something more prestigious
Either way, it feels good to get this out of my system. Keep up the
Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006
From: Mike Donohoe
Hi. I admit that I was once a "nice guy." In fact,
basically, I still am, at least to my son and to
animals, (such as my cat and my rabbit. Awww. Isn't
As for arrogant, self-absorbed manipulative pricktease
bitches, I say fuck 'em, and fuck 'em high. Sincerely,
No More Mr. Nice Guy. (Except to bunnies and my son
Subject: Comments: Nice Guys section
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006
Before I read the articles in the nice guys section, I didn’t
realize just how messed up I was. I
have described myself as a "nice guy" for a long time, wondering
why I couldn't get in a long term relationship with a woman and all the
other things that people like me tend to whine about.
It was, honestly, uncomfortable to read the pages, because
so much of what was in there fit me to a T. However, it was something I needed to
see. The friends and relatives of
an alcoholic or drug addict have an intervention to tell the addict that he or
she has a problem and how they feel about it. Tonight, I had my "nice guy
intervention", if you will, by reading through the nice guy stuff.
I'm going to work to change my
self-limiting and self-sabotaging behaviors, and I'll be checking back to
your site as needed to review and learn new things as more articles are posted.
As strange and counter-intuitive as it sounds, thank you for
being heartless. Or
should I say "You have a heartless of gold", lol.
Keith (former nice guy)
Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006
From: Daniel Chateau
Subject: Comment: Nice Guys, The Mold Needs to be Broken Alright
I just recently came across your website and read your article on
why they are such losers. As I was reading through it, it really struck
a chord with me. I think in some instances those characteristics of the
nice guy apply heavily to me. For the most part, that article was a bit
of an eye-opener for me. While I've become rather abrasive over the
years, I still find myself doing some of the said actions that are
commonly seen with a "nice guy". You are right, the partner shouldn't be
trying to worship them, putting them up on a pedestal. They should be
equals in all regards, no matter what society wishes for us to portray.
Equal means, equal on everything. From someone who has been slowly
growing out of the "nice guy" mold, I appreciate you putting up said
article. It's good to see that there are others out there who can freely
speak their minds without resorting to sounding like a blathering idiot
Daniel J. Chateau
Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006
From: "John J"
Subject: COMMENTS - THANK YOU!!!!
Go ahead! Put this on your site! I don't care! I feel so liberated
right now that the building could collapse around me right now and my
attitude wouldn't change a single bit.
My only request is to please not use my full name or e-mail address if
you choose to post this on your site. I'd like to keep this anonymous.
In any case, I just wanted to thank you guys for your awesome site and
finally getting it through my thick skull every single goddamn thing I
was doing wrong. For a while I'd been struggling with my own identity
and how to... how to *be* I guess, for lack of a better word. But God
damn do I ever get it now.
Not sure what kind of a difference it would make to you, but you've
saved one of us from falling into that god-forsaken "nice guy" trap.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
From: "White Goddess"
Subject: Is my son a nice guy?
Date: Sun, 12 Mar 2006
Hi I wasn't sure were to post on site or if I
should. I had a question about where to find advice for my 16 year old son.
He is an honor student, attractive, athletic and sensitive but is having trouble
with girls. THEY ask him out then dump after a few weeks for being "boring". I
personally think these girls are boring and need some activities and self
He dated a not too bright sweet pretty girl for 18
months and she broke up with him for being "boring" then proceeded to beg him
back for months. Now he is back with her (at my pushing , I don't usually
but I REALLY hated the girl he had been seeing) and she is actually
"bored" with him after only a couple weeks. Is it the over dramatized movies
these girls are watching that make them think that love is all bells and
whistles and if not something is wrong ( that stupid notebook movie comes to
mind)? My son may be tired from working hard all day but I guess he still wants
to make her happy this time around. EXACTLY what are they wanting him to do?
cartwheels? Financially right now we cant afford lavish gifts for her,
but I make beaded semiprecious jewelry and the girls seem to like those, should I help
her find a hobby like such?
This particular girl loves coming over to our home
as her family isn't close and her mom isn't around, she LOVES my homecooking and
sometimes comes over just to eat. I cant teach my son romance
and he doesn't see it at home as I was always one of the guys and never got along with girly girls
as a teen so I don't know what they want ( I wanted beer and found it on my own,
the girls he likes aren't like that). My hubby and I are soulmates that coexist
knowing what makes each other happy, so I have no idea what kind of advice to
give him on working to make a romantic girl feel happy. Personally I
think they should responsible for their own happiness and entertainment, but how
do I tell them that?
Is there a book?
My son sees his time with her as "down
time", relaxing time, but I think she wants to do stuff, but cant tell him WHAT
she wants to do.
I guess she is waiting for him to suggest something but his
idea of doing something is playing video games, and needless to say she sees
that as boring
OK, how many moms write?
Is he a momma's boy? He would says yes proudly
M in Michigan
Date: Fri, 24 Mar 2006
Subject: Nice Guy Essay
Though I'm not very active, simply AGES ago I became a Heartless Bitch. Still love the site.
Anyway, since I know you have the regular Nice Guys BLEAH! section still
going, I though I'd point you to this great essay someone put up on her
LiveJournal (it's not ME, I promise). Thought you might find some use
Keep up the good work!