The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...
Date: Sun, 14 May 2006
From: M Husereaux
Subject: Your site is very informative!
Thank you for finally telling me the truth. Now I know the answer to the
question "I'm a nice guy, why don't women like me?". I never realized
it, it's so clear to me now. I am now armed with knowledge on how to
keep a girl interested in me. I practically stopped being a nice guy
after my last "Let's Just Be Friends". Not only will I get better at
attracting women, but I CAN FINALLY BE MYSELF FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF A
I'm going to become a middle guy instead. Also,
BTW, if I find the guy that taught me to be a doormat, I'm am so going
to kick his ass! Thank you! Thank you!
"Screw this! I'm Converting!"
Milhouse Van Houten
From: "Tom Drewicke"
Subject: COMMENTS: "Nice Guy" in reform digs yer site
Date: Tue, 16 May 2006
'Sup, Heartless Bitches!
Yes, I was a "nice guy" in a big, bad way for many,
many years. Had I read your site a few years back, my letter would easily
of been thrown in the "whiny asshole" pile.
But because of sites like yours and
good old fashioned "life experice", I've slowly but surely shook the "nice guy"
facade off me. It's not about being a jerk or being a "nice guy", it's
about feeling good about yourself enough to not NEED somebody to dump your
It really is a case of looking yourself in the mirror and
asking "Would *I* want to hang out with me?" If you take an honest look,
you probably wouldn't. You'd find looking back at you a needy, clingy,
attention-seeking THING you want to get as far away from as you can! Now
put yourself in the shoes of that "jerk". There's probably a lot of things you
DO hate about him, but you'll readily admit you wished you had their
CONFIDENCE. And confidence isn't something you can buy like a pair of
socks or a TV set, it's like one of those expensive model airplane sets.
You'll use way too much glue, you'll lose some pieces, and it'll take a damn
long time, but once it's complete, you'll have something you can look at with
pride knowing it's yours and nobody helped you. And maybe someone will
come along and break it over their leg, but hey! You built it before, you know
you can do it again! And when you have something like that, you don't take
it where someone can do something like that anyway. You let people see it
in a display case at a fancy place, not hang it over a dingy bar to collect
dust and rot. I get a feeling you're not going to like my letter because
it's too positive, but there I go again, slipping into "nice guy" mode!
I just want to tell all the "nice guys" out there to wake up, get a grip, and take
control of their lives.
Being nice gets you nowhere, and maybe being
a jerk gets you places in the short run, but simply being confident and
secure in yourself will get you everywhere! Understand that these heartless
bitches are NOT out to get you, and they WANT you to succeed, not as "jerks",
not as "nice guys" but as "you". Jesus, why don't I just call up Tony
Robbins while I'm at it? Shit. Anyway, keep up the great work, and keep putting
"nice guys" (including me) in their place!
Tom "Not-Big-Enough-of-a-Jerk-to-Rip-Off-That-Alice-Cooper-Song-Title" D
Date: Wed, 17 May 2006
Subject: Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS
This particular article is wonderful for showing so many different
perspectives on the "what women want" discussion. On a local community
forum a member linked this page and it sparked a healthy discussion
filled with "bitches only want assholes" and "nice guys are miserable"
and lots more blanketing of personal worst case scenarios.
A lot of the negative email (not including the teenagers) seemed based
around the male definition of ‘nice guy’ differing from the one you
We (generalizing, don’t snipe) have our own set of definitions and ‘nice
guy’ isn’t in it. Or if it is, its confused with ‘good guy’. And I
certainly don’t generalize good guys as being unconfident, boring,
and/or manipulative. We define those kinds of people with a plethora of
harsher terms. The female species (lol) has a funny way with words. When
someone says ‘nice guy’, a male hears/means ‘nice guy’, while a female
hears/means ‘loser’. Confusion ensues.
I have a wonderful relationship with my girl. I don’t know what the
variables are, I just know that we love each other. I don’t have any
emotional or psychological answers, but I did want to mention a history
channel special (Sexual Attraction) that sheds some light on what men
and women look for in a mate instinctually. We do so many things without
even knowing it and without the ability to recognize it. A lot of what
women look for instinctually (leadership, dominance, confidence, good
genes) conflicts with what the human behind the mammal values. While
this info doesn’t much help the hopeless you describe in your ‘nice
guys’ article, it might help the women who have trouble with always
being attracted to assholes.
Love me please! - Andrew