Some Things Men Should Know...
- The reason our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE
actually CHANGE our underwear.
- The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you
successfully aim at the toilet bowl.
- If we're watching football with you, it's not bonding. We're watching because of the butts.
- If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.
- Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
- Don't fret if you find out that the postman delivers more than once a day.
- Please don't drive when you're not driving.
- Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
- Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths that you take.
- If you were really looking for an honest answer you wouldn't ask in bed.
- The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubbernecking at miniskirts.
- If only women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "who's easy?"
- Stop telling us that most male strippers are gay: WE DON'T CARE!
- Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in life: You'll never see the island coming.
- Have a strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.
- Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.
And last but not least...
- Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level. Also known as the "they
don't talk back" concept.
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